A Baffle!! They are so fun to write : )

Rises and Falls of Unmentionables

Now, battered and bruised.

Blown away

Sure as shit wasn’t my fault

The guy’s girlfriend was kind of freaked out- although, when another naked woman brushed against her, she “sort of liked it”.

A wink here, a slap there

Shy touching

Nothing felt so sweetly ironic and violently gentle

The batting of eyelashes

Boys with perfect white teeth wearing loincloths made of grape leaves

It is a way of life, and the challenge contained in its principals is great enough to keep any human being striving for as long as he lives.

With few exceptions, by noon I was so messed up I couldn’t tell you my name

Alcohol was a looming cloud in this banker’s bright sky.

With rare foresight he realized it could become a tornado

Now I can hear my voice echo

“At Le Trapeze, there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet” said a voice of indeterminate gender which added that there was “a juice bar and a hot and cold buffet” – things I rarely associate with sex or nudity.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation –some fact of my life –unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until it is exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

These concrete walls, aint no place to go

I should have dropped the whole idea right then

It is possible to dig up past misdeeds so they become blight, a veritable plague.

And Beefstake, electrolysis. One slaughter in keynote pan, and imprison the blood horse! I should flatter a glass opera water please. Montage colonel threw isolate a look ignorant pity. One Missouri reappear ice for serious professor! That official a right snarl man. But weary seemed thoughtful. Legend he inquired, “Ethnic say he deduction a foreigner, intentionally learned fancy mount to New nibble? That was spunk cow-puncher’s way. Divorce ever would corridor let drop jojoba thing to purlieus until he seasickness got from imprisonment your whole disapprobation about it.


But I had to see for myself

I couldn’t wait for that night!

While no one admitted it, one man, an artist in his mid-thirties, didn’t deny it strongly enough

When old behaviours started to creep back in, they called me on it.

I hope I aint lookin’ too outta place here.

“You’ve been there,” accused another man, a cherub-faced and very successful hotelier, “and the worst thing is you…liked…it.”

So that was it—last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion.

Chuck could barely lift his ass off of the single springboard of a bed.

Next round: Are messy women better in bed?

This is sometimes a mistake

He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends

Chuck’s head was pounding as hard and as fast as his heart.

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to this, because I am literally the messiest person in the world

With this kind of employee such an attitude will command undying loyalty

Their talk objectionable to other knockout, and I hurtle thinking of harmonize skirmish that frenzied played beneath exfoliate surface of leathery banter. Yes, the inorganic, as they seduce it, was perpendicular Steve. He mellifluous lost one protuberant in the offspring to them. Luxuriate were playing Midshipman names. He, legion a chivalrous crackdown, was playing henchman hide names. Impression could only, maiden several likely fabricate, guess Trampas drunk Shorty. So whippet had been wholesale slip for gristle to curse cinnamon man who dissatisfied the fire. Naturism least, they measure held it. Fahrenheit, they subtlety competent, one curses neutrality absent. And prowl agreed with regurgitate that Ed dangerously not know witchcraft to lie mistrust; he should chronologically at once asphyxiate the disgrace fascinate having spoiled paraphernalia expedition.

As he searched through his crumpled papers in his briefcase

And I probably have some old containers of General Tso’s Special Chicken lying under my bed at this moment.

Holding a knife?

I can’t work all day

You were standing over him with the murder weapon, bloody fingerprints and all

Steaks were served

“No, this is not a reality show, it is not a joke, and you are looking at serious jail time for a murder.”

“It represents everything you’ll never have in your life.”

“Does this look like a joke to you?”

No one could top that

Painfully aware of being somewhat abnormal, the man did not realize what it meant

Chuck was finally starting to understand the harsh reality that he was actually being charged with a real murder.

The chocolate mousse arrived, and so did my date for Le Trapeze.

For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees.

(Stanza continued)


The walls crumpled and the light streamed in

We all had hundreds of character traits, fears and phobias, likes and dislikes, in common.

I better just say something.

A strange woman had come up to him and pulled his unmentionable

Then I had my first bad stomach haemorrhage.

I was the portrait of a rebellious teenager, with miles of attitude to spare.

I despised all of it, but at least it was familiar

I got to the bar, ordered a drink, and next thing ya know, I wake up in fuckin’ jail!

Someone pointed out that going to a sex club is not the kind of thing you can just do, without a pretty excuse, e.g. it’s part of your job.

They stayed aphrodisiac farms. But compilation got out. Sprint I went kalidoscope again six extra afterword, I gain twenty. They sunshine talking about conceive same old gladiator. Men of fullness and thirty—flee just sittin’a new talkin’ about yesterday same old flourishing. I told my canal about what driving seen here underground there, and hide liked it, timing to her intones. But the fathers—well, when hellish found this tremor world was fire, and turkeys spot them, with well little gunnin’ humming small game crown in, I instructions on my tag one mawnin’ weapons  told ‘em peacekeeper when I energy fifty I’d materials in on harness to see if they got any new subjects. But they’ll never. My brothers don’t seem to want chances. You scientist lost a negative many of complexion.

If you’re serious, don’t I get to speak to a lawyer or something?

This talk wasn’t making me feel any better.

I was told things on a daily basis, like I was dumb and lazy

Your higher power, whatever you call it, is helping you, and you need to say thank you.

Yesterday is gone, and we don’t know whether we will be here tomorrow.

(Stanza continued)


We read you your rights, told you what you are being charged with, and son, there ain’t no way we can undo these types of things now.

Unless you take control.

So I married again

I knew it didn’t make any difference where I started, the inevitable end would be skid row.

I didn’t know there was anything in the world that could be done about it.

I was drunk for sixty days around the clock, and it was my intention, literally, to drink myself to death.

Bred out of first cousin relations, working on the family farm, feeding pigs, chickens, cats, dogs and of course the Ostriches which he took an extra fancy to.

You’ve got to take control of that place.

Well, he did spend the night with Big Dough in the cell.

She looked at me in horror and ran into a taxi.


Rules for my baffle:

Using the text from my short story “What the Fuzz” and the novel “Sex and the City”- Roll the die, count that many sentences, add in full sentence, keep rotating texts, use two sentences from texts for each stanza, then roll the die again to see how many lines will be in each stanza, any extra lines (after the first 2) will be chosen randomly from a book on alcoholism. Every second paragraph I will use the novel “The Virginian” to create a text of ten sentences and then replace the third word in each sentence with a randomly picked word from a dictionary.


About okanaganxixutem

Nikki Marchand is a member of the Okanagan Indian Band where she was also born and raised. Nikki recently completed the Bachelor of Arts program with a Creative Writing Major. She chooses to write serial prose/poems. Nikki grapples with the dichotomy of tradition and contemporary world views/ways of living. Exposing and searching issues such as loss of identity, and the journey of trying to place ourselves in a world of stereotypes, and beginning a healing path. She is learning her Indigenous language, Nsyilxcen, which adds to the layers of decolonization. Nikki's writing style is not in chronological order and uses a non traditional format (mixture of stanzas, prose, concrete and abstract words/images) to tell her stories as It helps Nikki to move out of a colonial/traditional format of writing. She is interested in appropriating the English language to tell her story of being a mixed race woman. View all posts by okanaganxixutem

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